Last Updated on December 20, 2024 by Kelly Ashley
What Is Shadow Self?
Shadow self is the place we dare not go. Our entire lives – even lifetimes maybe – we dare not go there. Its the part of us that we consider dark. All of the negatives that we’d rather not have – all of the experiences we’ve chosen to bury. Its the dark voice inside of us that whispers that we’re bad, that we’re not good enough, and that no one would ever really love us if they knew the ‘truth’. Its all the parts of us that we are hiding from and that we’d NEVER illuminate to ourselves, and definitely never to others. Its essentially the brokenness and damage of the mind.
Our shadow self is the dark side of us that we’d rather not acknowledge, and certainly never tell anyone about. Its all the aspects and experiences of ourselves that we’ve deemed bad, dark or unacceptable. Its the parts of us that we’ve judged and cast out – rejecting our true selves. Its that bad feeling that rises up when you think of something you wish you hadn’t done or wish hadn’t been done to you.
We all have that darkness inside of us. We all have that shadow in some form, whether we want to illuminate it, admit it, accept it or not. And that can be hard for light workers to accept – especially when we’re so sensitive to such a harsh exterior world. We find the world so cruel, and greedy, lustful and exploitative that the pain is too hard to bear, so we insulate ourselves. We curl in, in, and in until there’s no further inside to hide. We cut ourselves off from this dark, painful outside world and we hide from people who could harm us. We begin to see that the darkness is out ‘there’ and we project it there in order to protect ourselves, because being so painfully sensitive, if we can’t project it onto the outside world then there is no safe place to hide. Simply being within our own selves would not be safe, and we just can’t survive here without some tiny safe space to shelter us.
The Broken Psyche: Creator Of Shadow Self
Lets face it, we’ve all felt a little (or a lot) crazy on the awakening pathway. Few make it through without feeling that their mind has been broken or bent like a pretzel. But in truth, the brokenness of our minds occurred long ago. Its this past brokenness of the mind and psyche that caused us to develop these unconscious shadow aspects of ourselves in the first place – awakening simply brings it all to the surface. Its all born of necessity, survival and protection. Shadow self is like a split part of us that encapsulates and disconnects in an attempt to protect us from something we don’t want to see, feel or experience. It literally shelters us from truth in an attempt to keep us alive, in fear that if we knew the truth, we wouldn’t be able to handle it.
In many ways it is a good thing, because for sensitive souls like us who are already buckling under the pressure of the normal living world, to take much more would threaten our survival. If we did, we might not make it. So instead, our subconscious uses various coping mechanisms to ensure our safety and protection from these issues in the following ways…
Damage of the mind creates:
- Blind spots – pain that is so great that our subconscious blocks it out entirely. Realities of life we literally cannot see, acknowledge, notice or understand (even when its right in front of us).
- Denial – our minds simply wont allow us to accept what is put before us and so it rationalizes, defends, justifies and fights.
- Perception alteration – our psyche wont allow us to view issues or experiences in the truth of what they are because we cannot handle what that means about ourselves, the world or others.
- Regressed behaviour – due to when these aspects of self ‘split off’ and disconnected, we may have parts of us which reflect younger teenage or childlike parts of ourselves, and when challenged they will literally react in those childish ways without our seeming conscious control. We might cry, throw a temper tantrum, lash out or even run away.
- Disconnection – cutting ourselves off from those around us, being unable to ever really connect, or hiding from life in an unhealthily introverted way.
These are all simply protection mechanisms, and if they are there, then they had good reason to be, and your subconscious has been working VERY hard to keep you safe. The good news is that they can be healed and changed with gentleness and compassion in a way that allows all functions of the mind to become healthy, whole and complete once more by simply being willing to LOOK. No matter what has happened in the past you are safe here and now. Its all over, you made it and you’re ok. Now is the time when its actually safe to look.
The Darkness Arises
I had an experience of this over the last few weeks. It had been brewing for some time, this emotional storm, and when the pain finally rose to the surface I was shocked at the intensity and depth of it, but not surprised that the pain was there. What was surprising was the blind spots, the denial, the regression and the perception alteration that the pain had caused. It was like suddenly having a light shone on my past experiences and seeing it for something totally different from before. Like every purge before it, I worked my way through it, allowing the tears to flow, honoring the pain in the best way I could and knowing that inevitably, just like before, it would pass, and the light would return and I would feel freer as a result of it.
Truth Illuminates The Darkness
But right when I hoped it would pass, it deepened. Veils of deception began to lift. Cold, hard truth began to surge to the surface. Experiences that I’d had before were now laid before me free of all possible denial, projections and perceptions and I was left with only truth. And the truth sure hurt. It meant that I had thought that I was seeing clearly, and making decisions and taking action based on truth, but it wasn’t. It was based on the lie designed by my subconscious mind to keep me safe. I understood the motivations of my mind, but suddenly having ALL of the information kind of ripped the map that was the fabric of my life so far. It turned out that the map wasn’t accurate. I couldn’t trust my map. I was going to have to look at the land all over again and create a new map of the world based on what I could clearly see now.
Ok, I knew I could do that. I could create a new map. I could look at the truth and construct a new, healthier view of life and the world. That was tough, but acceptable to me. What wasn’t feeling acceptable was how I’d behaved as a result of the damage. I couldn’t accept the fact that I couldn’t see what I wasn’t able to handle. I couldn’t accept that I had not been as perfect and good and pure as I’d hoped I had been, and then came the judgment…
Judgement Feeds The Darkness
Pain had made me selfish, and it had at times in my life, caused me to become so insular that I had cut everyone and everything else off. In truth, I hadn’t really considered how other people felt about that, because I couldn’t deal with discomfort, or hurt or upset. I’d become so sensitive that I’d cut people off in the only way I knew how to protect myself, and I hadn’t considered the pain that might have caused. I had justified my actions with MY pain. I had given myself a free pass because the world seemed all dark and I felt like a vulnerable light that was in danger of being snuffed out.
I had sought solace in my guides and in the higher realms where it was safe, and I had learned to cling to those higher realms by the tips of my fingers as a way of avoiding real human life. As a way of avoiding the truth within myself. As a way of disputing the truth that I could ever be human, and as a result, enabling me to push away all of the attributes that come as a natural part of that.
We Are Both Darkness AND Light
And then, after some reflection, balance came. Does it mean that we are perfect? No, and we never will be so long as we’re down here in a human body and governed by human wants, needs and desires. But can there still be purity filtered through that medium? Absolutely. And you already are that, no matter what you’ve done or wanted, or created, or broken. You are still purity, filtered through the human experience. Admitting your mistakes and your shadow self does not negate that. But what it does powerfully do as a part of spiritual awakening is that it makes you become a fully present, fully functioning human at optimum maturation (at least until next time). It makes you take responsibility for your actions, it allows you to be empathic without pain, it helps you to create boundaries and be lovingly assertive, it helps you to unconditionally accept others because you are willing to accept yourself, no matter what. It brings truth and with it, TRUE SELF and THAT, my friends is where your real power lies.
How To Acknowledge Your Shadow Self
The challenge with acknowledging your shadow self is that its largely unconscious. If I’ve learned anything over the last few weeks, its the sheer power of the unconscious mind, and its ability to over ride your conscious awareness. The most frightening thing about all of this is not actually what you would see if you were to look, but the fact that you may be entirely blind to something you know nothing about.
How can you know what you don’t know? How can you light darkness that you don’t consciously realize is there? Well, the good news is that awakening will bring that at some point. The truth will ALWAYS find its way to the surface, but rest assured that it will not come until you are able to handle it. You can investigate this for yourself, gently and with loving compassion for whats inside. Think along the lines of ‘what secrets do I have that I’d NEVER tell anyone?’ or ‘what things have happened/ have I done that I’d NEVER admit to anyone?’ If these very thoughts generate fear then there is a darkness within you that needs to be addressed, but let me assure you that the darkness is NOT because you are bad, its because you are JUDGING yourself to be bad.
Let me repeat that. The darkness is NOT because you are bad, its because you are JUDGING yourself to be bad.
Release the judgement and you’ll release and heal the darkness. You hold the key to healing your broken psyche.
Enlightenment Means Releasing ALL Judgments Against Yourself
The fear that comes as a result of even the consideration of looking at our shadow selves is not because of what is inside of us (even though it might feel that way), its because we have judged ourselves to be terrible human beings as a result of it. The darkness is our own rejection of self. Once you can acknowledge the darkness that is there and then accept yourself for it with loving compassion no matter what, you will be free of it, once and for all. And THAT is true ENLIGHTENMENT. You will never be freer and lighter and clearer than when you can let go of judgement and rejections of yourself. That is how your true divine self shines in illumination and unconditional love! You need to BE that unconditional love for yourself first and foremost, and only then can you truly extend that loving compassion to others.
Are You Ready To Heal Your Broken Psyche And Illuminate Your Shadow Self?
Lets face it, you’re here for a reason. We all know that deep down as we awaken. We came here with something important to do. A mission. A purpose.
Your mission and purpose is vitally important, but it absolutely cannot be fulfilled if you are broken inside, if your mind isn’t working as it should, if you are plagued with trauma and your shadow self is shielding you from truth. You can’t really be an authentic divine version of yourself with all of those limiters playing out. It muddies the waters. It stops you from being real.
Its time to heal your broken psyche.
Its time to repair the damage of your mind.
Its time to see the truth.
Its time to illuminate the darkness so that you can be fully light and step into your purpose!
Are You Ready?
If you’re feeling triggered or would like some deep healing and comforting help with these issues, you can check out our new energy healing session – that is exactly what its all focused around. Its slightly different from our monthly meditations in that it is more focused on active energy healing rather than awakening activations. This energy healing session will help you to illuminate and accept your shadow self, identify unconscious patterns and see the divine truth safely and gently. Its all focused on healing broken parts of the mind and psyche and integrating all parts of yourself to become your most complete, whole and healthy self possible.
Hey! If you liked this article you might also be interested in these other popular related resources:
* 10 Signs Your Heart Chakra Is Blocked Or Broken
* Healing the Broken Psyche, Damaged Mind & Illuminating Shadow Self!
* The Crystal Frequency
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