Last Updated on November 7, 2022 by Kelly Ashley
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Ah loneliness. There may be a multitude of varying signs or symptoms that anyone could have during awakening – and no two would ever be the same – but one symptom that I see universally throughout my clients is loneliness. Ironically, we are united in that. I went through it too, and for the most part, I spent my awakening cursing that loneliness, reflecting on the complexity of my experience and wondering how anyone could ever possibly understand what I was going through. I thought somehow I was flawed. I thought that I was entirely alone, Â and I had no idea that so many others were going through the exact same thing. It wasn’t until long after the intensity of my awakening had calmed that I began to see how this loneliness had served me. I began to recognize that the loneliness that I had experienced actually had a purpose, and it had benefited me in numerous ways (however, that doesn’t mean you have to suffer it, but more on that later).
Lets take a look at the purpose of spiritual awakening loneliness, and how I’ve found it is actually assisting us further along the path to enlightenment:
Loneliness Shifts Our Relationships
In a weird way, loneliness starts it all. In fact, it is this sense of loneliness, and feeling that no one else could possibly understand that adjusts our social circles and life conditions. It is that pervading sense of loneliness and not fitting in that calls for us to examine our relationships with friends, lovers, or work mates and recognize who no longer resonates with us. This empowers us to move away from negative influences and toxic relationship patterns to make room for supportive, loving, compassionate people in our lives. It creates the space for the universe to fill the vacuum with someone much more compatible and in alignment with who we truly are. It brings our relationships into the 5D reality. If those kind of folks haven’t turned up in your life just yet, don’t lose hope, as you clear your vibration and become more aligned, they’ll start showing up.
Loneliness Brings Our Focus Inward
Generally, we’ve spent most of our lives looking outward. Initially we may have lived from ego with focus on more physical things – how we look, how much money we have, social status etc. but these things all fade eventually (or uncontrollably crumble as is sometimes the case during spiritual awakening). We’ve also been raised to look outward for guidance on which path to take, or to consistently look to others for our decision making. That all changes when we experience loneliness. All of the crutches we have clung to throughout our lives get whipped away from us – be it the big house, your job, or the people in your life who you’ve become emotionally dependent on. It might sound cruel, but it really has a wonderful purpose. When we can no longer rely on sources outside of ourselves, and when there really is nowhere else to turn, we finally turn inward. And that, my friends, is where the real transformation begins. That is what takes us from meek and mild mannered to fully independent, standing in our power, fully expressing our gifts and fulfilling our greatest passion and purpose. That can’t happen unless you search inward enough to find yourself and unearth all the amazing strengths you have within you (don’t worry, if those virtues haven’t shown up yet, they will!)
Loneliness Awakens The Truth Of Our Divinity
How ironic that this all consuming sense of loneliness is actually the very thing that awakens us most. You see, when you finally release all of these ‘crutches’ that you used to lean on, you finally go inward, and when you go inward, you begin to remember the truth of who you really are. That in itself can unearth a different sense of loneliness – a loneliness of the soul. This is where we begin to realize that earth is not our true home. We get a sense that home is somewhere else. Sometimes we get a feeling, or we may just be lucky enough to experience remembrance of where home is, and who we were with. We begin to miss ‘home’ purely because our souls have awakened enough to come to consciousness on THIS physical level. This awareness has our soul questioning, ‘why did I come here’ and ‘how can I get home’. We might even get a sense of a mission or life purpose that we just don’t want anymore. This longing makes us more aware that we are not of this world at all, and it can bring up some real soul level pain or grief – and it really does hurt. I know I spent many hours in tears, sensing my soul family and longing to go home, but it is that very awareness that should enlighten you to the fact that your soul is awake now. You are accessing other, much deeper parts of YOU. In order to be fully awakened you need to fully know you, and you cannot fully know you without becoming aware of all of those wonderful divine parts that make up the whole. Rest assured that the pain will dissipate and eventually be replaced by a strong sense of purpose, wisdom and empowerment here on earth.
Loneliness Reconnects Us To Spirit
This is my favourite. Like I mentioned before, after you’re left feeling lonely, misunderstood, and unable to connect with the people around you, you start to go inward, and when you go inward you find connections on an entirely different plane. It is this very loneliness that withdraws you from the physical world and forces you to awaken your intuition and reconnect to spirit. Sometimes when life is too comfortable we are reluctant to change. If we have plenty of resources in the physical world, we tend not to feel the NEED to connect so much to the spiritual world. But when it begins to feel that no one here in the physical world can help us, we start searching for help on other planes. This happens automatically and is often the time when we begin noticing meaningful synchronicities, getting signs and messages, feeling presences, connecting to spirit guides or simply that feeling of oneness.
Loneliness Releases Limiting Beliefs & Past Life Issues
Lastly, spiritual awakening loneliness helps us to release limiting 3D belief systems (which is exactly what we need to let go of in order to experience 5D reality). Naturally, being present on earth throughout the ages, the energy has been extremely dense. We have been traumatized through lifetimes where we came to conclusions like ‘I’ll be cast out for my gifts’, ‘I’ll be killed for being a healer,’ or ‘I need to be alone in order to embrace my gifts’. These are common belief systems that are a result of lifetimes when using our psychic gifts or healing abilities really was truly dangerous. We learned that we would be rejected (or killed) for showing them, sharing them, or helping others with them. Its natural that we should come to those conclusions, and they absolutely were relevant – back then. But they are no longer our reality, and they often perpetuate issues like being afraid to be a healer, being unable to access our gifts, or isolating ourselves in order to keep ourselves safe.
The good news is that these limiting belief systems are being released. Simply by being aware of these feelings or thoughts we are in the process of acknowledging, realizing and releasing them once and for all. Eventually they will be replaced with our 5D truths – that our abilities truly are a gift, and that it is safe to share them for the benefit of those around us.
Is Loneliness Necessary In Order To Awaken?
Ok, so now we know the purpose of loneliness as part of ascension. We can all see the specific ways that it benefits us and catalyzes vital changes that transform us internally. However, now comes the secret truth that most people don’t realize until they are out the other end of awakening fully…
Its not actually necessary.
Yep. Seriously. Loneliness may catalyze many powerful changes as we move along the awakening path, but you’ll be relieved to know that it really isn’t necessary to feel that way, at all.
Let me explain why. Remember when we discussed how loneliness helps us to release limiting belief systems that stop us from experiencing our true divinity? Well the good news is, that loneliness is just a perception. In itself, it is a belief system, and it is one that we all inherently carry (otherwise we’d breeze through awakening feeling connected and united – but of course, then there wouldn’t be any need for awakening anyway). The reason we are experiencing loneliness (or any other awful feeling) is because somewhere deep down in our souls, we believe in it. And we believe in it because we’ve experienced it in past lives. It is the accumulation of all of the times we’ve been rejected, cast out or ridiculed, and it is the fact that we are still carrying those past life wounds that keep it in our vibration now. We feel lonely because we felt lonely back then, and we are still carrying that loneliness with us now, everywhere we go, and in everything we do.
Our energy healing meditation, ’The Castle Sween Past Life Meditation’ can help with healing your past life wounds.
You’re Right On Track!
Fortunately, the very fact that you are experiencing loneliness at all means you are healing it. It means that old issues are rising to the surface to be felt. It means that you are tapping into your past lives. It means, (although it hurts) that you are healing your soul. It means that you are right on track in your awakening journey, no matter how lonely or challenging it may be. It means you’re doing just fine.
However, I know that this virtual hug from me to you wont really hit the spot. I know its not enough to make you feel connected, supported and understood. So, not only do I have a free 5-day course that will help you ease the trickiest challenges of awakening, but in it I’ve included access to a Facebook community too where we can all support, encourage and comfort each other – I’ll be in there sharing helpful guidance from time to time too! You can sign up below:
Hey! If you liked this article you might also be interested in these other popular related resources:
* Spiritual Awakening 101 – The Ultimate Guide to Spiritually Awakening Safely
* From Anxious to Awakened in 3 Easy Steps!
* Spiritual Awakening Anxiety Relief Kit
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Oh my goodness thank you so much for this site! Everything you’ve written is what I’ve been going through and its been so tough! I have definitely been questioning my sanity. Thank you! <3
So glad it resonates with you Vicky, that means a lot. Much love xx
Right now …feeling it….i usually enjoy my own company but today feel very alone and tearful….you say I am accessing past lives as a healer and feelings of being isolated and out cast are being resurfaced to be healed. Just as I step back into this role as a healer and put myself put there. Very interesting ….thank you do very much for the insight.
Hi Susan, how interesting that those feelings should come up now. Definitely sounds like it needed to be triggered to allow you to step into your full power as a healer. Good luck with it 🙂
At first I fought the loneliness. I thought there was something wrong with me, but now I am basking in it. I know it won’t last forever and oh, it’s so sweet.
Absolutely, it wont last forever 🙂 Much love to you, Kelly x
I’m crying og happiness because somehow I feel protected by something superior in this phase of my life. Everything you wrote resonated with me. Thank you ❤️
I feel exactly the same for years now and there is not a single person I have been able to tell all of this. It really resonates with everything I have gone through scince my awakening started. Specially the synchronicities and looking for help in other planes (meditation) when I feel I am in trouble.
Ah Mario. I, too, have been searching the woods of consciousness in the hopes of finding a flesh and blood compadre. I know we’re out there but we don’t I ever meet one?
I too know exactly how this feels. But, it is part of the ongoing process. Miracles do happen. In a cascading effect, they come and go, yet are always there, never alone we are. Not by our timetable do they come. Loneliness felt is an anchoring point for the appreciation of its antithesis. Its just one rest stop along an eternal adventure. Loneliness as an emotion is real. All alone-ness, on the other hand, is merely an illusion. Treads like these prove that truth. Slow and gentle.
Mario – I made a list of everything from age – to geographically desirable (lived around the corner) tucked it away;?3 months later, we met & now married 18 years. Then I burned the list, thanking the Universe. From: Lisa – it trulybeorkd.
Me too!
I went through it as well and it was very painful. I wanted to be home alone most of the time during the fall season. I didn’t know who i was becoming- it was scary but now I feel in full bliss and I see more clarity. Even though I’m kind of resisting it because the flesh wants to remain the same. ???
Thank you so much for this!
🙂 x
Thank you so much for this! As a man, I struggle to admit my feelings of loneliness even to myself in fear of being less of a man and not only that, I feel like I’m a spiritual healer, but being a man in this society makes me feel that it’s wrong to think and feel this way. Reading this, I’ve been able to admit to myself that I’m lonely and it’s nothing really wrong with that.
Thank you for saying that, and sharing your vulnerability Barron. You are definitely not wrong – but this is likely some past life belief systems that have been holding you back, coming up to be released. You are absolutely worthy, regardless of gender, or standing in your true power and being the authentic healer that you are x
You’re free to be all you choose to be. No other person owns you. X
Thank you so much for these article’s, I’m finally understanding whats happening. I have so many questions.
Thank you. I am so looking forward to this. Recently all my friends have left me, either thru moving or betrayal. I have this feeling that it is for the better for they were very negative towards me and relied on me to perk them up but never reciprocated. Please be sure to include me as I deeply need this.
Hi BJ – I can relate, and I’m sure so will many in our community. Often the changes in our vibration causes certain people to fade out of our life experience, but the good news is that the universe will fill that space with people more in alignment with who you truly are, and you’ll find that they are a positive and supportive influence in your life. The universe is just making a little space first 🙂
I can totally relate to everything what is written above, ,y journey started in 2011 where I lost my job, house, broke up wiht my livin, I feel calm and at peace after reading the blog. It gives me a sense of security.
Thank You!
Thank you for sharing your journey with us, it doesn’t sound easy, but I know that awakening has a tendency to do that. I’m so pleased it brings you security. Sending big hugs! x
Thank you so much for this article. I thought that after all the work I’ve done to heal, the loneliness was a sign I was flawed somehow. Now I know why I feel this way. Words cannot express my gratitude:)
Aw thank you Rebecca, and you are certainly not flawed. Awakening is never perfect and I’m confident that your soul will be doing all the work necessary to get you to where you need to be. You are so welcome. Much love to you, Kelly x
Thank you for this <3
Been on my path about 8 years now total only realising what was happening the last 3 years and can finally feel it coming to a completion of sorts. What a turbulent roller-coaster it has been from being thrown and dragged about by the rejection my ego had to change and accepting to what was changing in me, to losing all friends i had growing up ((they all moved away, some to the other side of the world) I have zero contact now with what was my best friend for 15 years, my brother to another mother as he once was, we didnt fall out, he just dissapeared from my life), losing jobs, losing loved ones. I’m just about holding onto my wife, as i can see glimmers of her acceptance and knowing deep down somewhere about some of the things i drip feed her consciousness, trying my best to awaken her (which is not an easy thing when your trying to stop someone else’s ego from controlling them and to instead look inside to find herself) and I am slowly getting there. I think articles like yours is very interesting and a joy to read and to know that when those that are in the stage of loneliness which at times over the years felt as though would never end. Its great that such articles exist for a reference point. I also like articles that explain how your not insane, a very prominent question on my journey was, Am i actually insane or is this real?, but of course led to questions and answers from my own internal guides as like what is real? what is insane? what is this voice that i am listening to, what the heck is all of this, and so on, you know how it goes…. anyway, it can be easy for some but boy has it been a tough one and at times lonely and scary for me…but in the end i believe the more turbulent it is a process, the more incredible the effect afterward. Much love and peace to you. C
Thank you for sharing, you’re not alone in your experience and I know how challenging it can be, but I’m confident that by applying some of the techniques we teach your awakening will improve and things will get better for you x
Hey CT, did you end up getting anywhere with your wife? I’m trying with my partner but no matter what I do, what info I put right infront of him, ANYTHING, he listens, but isn’t waking either. And he just really isn’t phased, whereas I’m like OMGGG, THIS IS INSANE type deal.
Can we wake up others? It seems like no matter what signs the Universe gives him, he doesn’t take it on board and despite all the doors opening in my life, he still thinks it’s luck.. Whereas I can throw myself into anything and most times then not, I get a gift/benefit/lesson out of it? Yet he still thinks it’s luck?
The lonely part for me was thinking I was the only one in the Universe that was awake to my degree.
As for purpose, do we all have the same purpose? Or are we all working on our own purposes to one day unite? I feel like our individual purposes are to help in anyway shape or form – this then produces income and then the ultimate goal is to come together, to create an ultimate plan to wake the World.
I feel like without the ultimate plan, this World isn’t going to last and I know the Universe doesn’t just want us awake, he want’s all so we can live as One and start healing this Earth.
Anyone else been shown this?
Also my awakening happened REALLY quickly. Did anyone elses? It was like a LOAD of info, epiphanies, messages and growing in a very small amount of time – 2 weeks and daily I’m still learning. I get like NO sleep (3-5 hours), strategies, plans, messages come in from all angles, I’m shown many things and the rate that this is happening blows my mind. I’ve read so many others stories and theres happened over years. I’ve seen behind the veil, understand that he/she wants the new World to look at religion differently – gone is the God/Devil theory, I’ve opened my chakras, learning to use my third eye daily to connect to my inner self (i dont even know what its called) I think one day I’ll be able to see my soul by using that technique too.
What have yous learnt? Please tell me someone has experienced the above as well. I don’t feel lonely because of anything else other than not having anyone else to express my awakening experience with. Noone to provide me information as to why we’ve been chosen. I’ve experienced home once and it was beautiful. A sense of complete fulfillment, knowing and allignment. I was an energy force moulded with all the other energy forces, leading to a HUGE energy force. It was beautiful tbh :’)
Let me know any info that you feel I may need to know 🙂
We definitely work better in communities/groups so we can give eachother support, comfort and wisdom. I’ll join the fb group now. I have tried reaching out to others that are awake but the always lack seeing the bigger picture.
I’m hoping for my benefit, the fb group or SOMEONE in the fb group understands to my degree as well.
You can’t wake people up, they have to do it themselves. Those of you trying to wake up your partner, there is more to do with your own awakening. It sucks but it is simply the way it is, each person comes to themselves in their own time and way.
Oh my gosh reading all of these comments ang this post has me so relieved! Thank you thank you thank you! I resonate with this comment deeply because I too and trying to have my boyfriend understand. He loves me endlessly and accepts me but I want him to get it! What my Spirit told me was that it’s not my job to make people understand. By trying I’m actually in resistance to what I really want. Just BE! And everything isn’t supposed to be shared with EVERYONE. Or anyone at that. We are a universe within ourselves! We experience and share it within ourselves. I’m sending all of you a huge universal hug! We’ll get through it
Thanks Kelly for this article. I have been going through lots of pain since 1996. I have travelled a long spiritual journey but didn’t know about ascension since recently. I feel however in my case I need also inner child work in order to deal with old issues. I guess these two go together and I feel sustained in it by higher realms. But it is indeed a very lonely and arduous process. Love
Hi Fred, wow that is a long time, I’m sorry to hear its been so difficult and lonely for you. Fortunately you’re not alone now, and we welcome you into our community! It sounds like your soul is ready for healing in a big way. The more you can heal and clear the easier it will be to naturally move forward. Our upcoming course might be helpful to you x https://spiritualawakeningsigns.com/spiritualawakening/emotional-healing-course-help/
I just entered my awakening and feeling very lonely and confused.
Sending big hugs Jennifer, you’re not alone here 🙂
Definitely you are not alone! There are others out there going through it too. I am one of them for sure. It is not an easy path to walk. It’s dual in nature too because even though there are others going through it, there is still a specific individual nature that is our unique experience. It’s a fingerprint, there are similarities in our stories, but our experience is still very individual. It is still a very difficult path to walk.
Only now I notice kelly that you replied to an earlier post of mine. I put another one today. It is still arduous but the good news is I cannot escape anymore into whatever but have to go inwards. Thanks again for the article! Love
Hi Kelly.
Some days ago during a therapy session, it has become clear that I have suffered from VTS or Vanishing Twin Syndrome throughout my life.
Hence these feelings of loneliness, high sensitivity, guilt, all this searching, pain, melancholy etc… I am reading
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/49935118-drama-in-the-womb
It is confronting but now it is clear.
But how does this relate to the acsension process. I know it on the one hand and still seem to not get it on the other hand. I guess everything that is not resolved comes to the surface…
Love
Just what I needed today. Thank you so much.
Glad to hear it 🙂 x
thank you very much for this, like the others it is really hard and without some reference points we really think we are going insane, because no one else can understand us, thank you very much for this, it makes me more sure of my path, and much much stronger, thank you
You’re so welcome, and I have full confidence that you’ll get where you’re going, just as we all will. Sending much love to you x
Thank you so much for this article. It has made me feel more at peace with my loneliness and I’m excited to check out your course. Bless your heart!
Thank you for your kind words Britney, I’m so glad to hear it made you feel better. I’m excited for you to join us 🙂 x
Thank you so much Kelly,this article really means a lot to me. I have been feeling this way after my awakening and it was really tough, because i didn’t understand why I couldn’t relate to a lot of people. 🙂 Thank you for telling us that we will be alright. 🙂
Hi Jean, you absolutely will be alright – in fact, as this process continues to transform you – you’ll be just wonderful. Connection will come – but it usually comes after a period of disconnect while we undo some old patterns and hurts to do with connecting to others. It will clear and all will be well 🙂 x
Thank you Kelly,
A friend sent this to me after a conversation we had, where I was feeling unbareable loneliness, and not for the first time during this life, and I was feeling so fed up and tired of it all. I’m mostly happy with my own company – but not at the moment, and thought I was going a bit mad!
So, your article makes perfect sense, and I’ve always seen solice as a necessary part of reflection and growth and this clarifies it well
Andrea
Hi Andrea, I’m so glad it makes sense. I’m sure many others here will relate to your feelings. Much love to you, Kelly x
Thank you for this. Sometimes I feel my loneliness comes from the fact that our lives are so separate- we all live in separate houses, and live such isolated lives. To see people we have to “make plans”, which often times are canceled. I wish I lived in a community in which we lived together, shared time a lot, and lived together out in nature. This modern society feels so cold and isolated sometimes it makes me want to go home to where I came from. Where everything was so one and warm and lovely…well at least there’s great articles like this one in the mean time
Thanks for sharing. I thought initially the same as well if anyone could really understand what I am going through….like my head getting heavy & etc.
I am learning to have Faith & Patience…..
Wow thank you for the article. I really really needed this one. I was just feeling so so lonely. I have everyone supporting me but I can not stop thinking of how lonely I am. After recognizing my lonelyness I felt much better. I felr like i don’t have to look outside for help I felt like I have strength inside(It doesn’t mean I can not ask forhelp but I think I had dependent tendacy which I won’t let me be me). It is difficult time but I can do it I can do it.
You’re so welcome, I’m sorry to hear you’ve been having such a rough time. You definitely can do it, and you’ll get there, it just takes time but trust me, once you get there it will all melt away and be entirely worth it 🙂 x
What about the guy who has always been alone.I experience all these things. How are these symptoms of ascension. This just sounds to me like traits of being aware of the inner you, you, and your environment. If these are symptoms. Then tell me the symptoms loners since birth. Please and Thank you. I wish you a blissful day with a graceful sunset.
Hi Kay, quite often those of us who have always been loners are the very ones to go through awakening, because we are aware of something deeper. Its possible that you’ve always been on the path of awakening since birth coming into this lifetime. Much love to you, Kelly x
Hi, thank you for this text, probably you won’t see it, but it has been very important. I feel very tired, I’m seeing everything falling apart, relationship, work, bills and more bills, and the more I try to improve myself the more this happens and I didn’t know why, I’ve felt alone for years I’ve never had a friend and didn’t have a good father growing up, so reading this, made my mind a bit more ‘stable’. A lot but I mean a lot of different numbers constantly showing up, it makes me feel like I’m a crazy person. But yea I would just like someone to talk with, because I literally been closed on my heart since was a child, hopefully this pain will go away. Thank you so much hope you will see this comment.
Hi Leonardo. It sounds like you’re in need of healing mostly – which means you’re in the healing phase of awakening. Its natural that during this phase emotions will rise up, and you generally will feel pain and upset – because your soul is trying to show it to you so that you will heal and clear it and move forward. Our free course will teach you how to do that. If you can begin healing a little of that painful emotion everyday, things will absolutely get better – as they did for me. Also, its normal and natural to see number signs everywhere during awakening, I still get that multiple times daily, and its a good sign that you’re in alignment with the universe. You should join our private facebook group (theres a link to it in the free course). I think you’ll find most people in that group will wholeheartedly understand and say they see them too 🙂 https://spiritualawakeningsigns.com/ascensionaid/
This article helped me so much. I have always been an introvert and it is hard for me to connect to people. I have tried making friends but eventually they all have betrayed me. It was during one such betrayal that one person got to know my vulnerabilities and manipulated me and despite of letting him go I clung to him. Eventually in early 2015 I recognised he was toxic to me and draining me and I did everything I could do in order to shut him out of my life and turned towards spirituality. I regained control over my emotions but I have been unemployed since then. I have been carrying the hope within me that everything will be alright and I will have my first job soon but nothing is working. During the meantime I have been working on myself physically and emotionally but the past one month has been way too tough. I am feeling way too alone, depressed, failure and there are bouts of high and low energy. I have a lot of back pain, heaviness in the solar plexus area and the third eye chakra, nausea and emesis and I keep getting up between 3 and 5 am every night. I have been thinking I am going mad. This article helped soothing my mind a bit.
It sounds like you’ve been having an awful time – I’m sorry to hear that, but please know that even though you may feel alone, you are not alone. We’re all here with you on this ascension process and we’ll get there together. Consider joining our facebook group for additional support and likeminded individuals – search in groups for ‘spiritual awakening signs’ xx
Interesting reading and yes this resonates with me in more ways than i would care to admit.
Thank you so much for this explanation. This makes sense, thank goodness! ??
🙂 You’re welcome xx
Hi Kelly..!!
Most of it resonates with my experiences however one thing that jolts me badly is a feeling that I am losing it..One thing what i experience, I don’t know whether its good or bad is that what ever I am thinking inside of my mind, people around me knows it…whatever I am thinking, I get to hear the same thing people around me discussing…this is really terrifying…
Please help
Hi there, this sounds like some mental challenges coming up as a result of awakening (which is very common for us). My best advice would be to ground your energy very strongly using the techniques listed in our free course (which are the OPPOSITE of what the usual advice would be). Please know that you are absolutely safe on this journey, no matter how fearful you feel. You can check it out here. https://spiritualawakeningsigns.com/
I relate so much to the things i’m reading here. I find myself getting emotional when reading this. My experience happened 7 years ago, and it has remained w/ me to this day, and the degree to which i’ve changed can’t be over-emphasized. The powerful impact of the ‘moment’ has faded as time goes by, though the profound shift associated with what I’ve learned remains as strong as the days and weeks that immediately followed my awakening experience. I experience significant challenges associated w/ the ways I’ve changed, primarily my relationship w/ my wife and intimate friends, many of whom i’ve lost. Essentially I’m ok w/ this, because Im so firm in my knowing. Some have stuck around to glean what I know, and some ask questions, and I love to discuss it. Some roll their eyes, and are clearly not ready. Some think I’m crazy. To be fair, there was (and still is especially when discussing it) a sense of heightened energy and vibration that can take over, and my eyes get wider and some people get put off by this. In recent years i’ve gotten better at keeping this under control, and my relationships have improved. It weirded people out at times.
The need to integrate cannot be overstated, because the experience is so profound and often disorienting. I spent years without integrating what I learned into my daily life HERE ON EARTH, and i paid at times a heavy price for this. People saw me as arrogant, supercilious and ‘holier than thou’ at times, though this is never what i felt inside. People said i looked different to them, my eyes had changed, etc. This was especially hard on my wife, and she didn’t know what to make of me. Also, my ego tried (successfully at times) to regain control, resulting in bouts of anger that i couldn’t explain away, and it took years, until recently in fact, for me to come to grips with what was happening. I couldn’t relate to people’s petty ways of operating, and i easily became frustrated with them. This was ironic because inside my heart i felt ‘one with all things’, though my outer presentation was often confrontational, and i was ready to fight!! and it put my professional life at risk numerous times, but i didn’t seem to care. I knew this was ironic, and eventually learned that i hadn’t tied my heart to my head. All in all, i wouldn’t change a thing. Thank you for this forum.
Hi Marc, it sounds like you’ve had a pretty rough time, but it also sounds like you’re coming to great insights over the journey now. You’re not alone here with us 🙂
Thank you for this article, Kelly, so many comments and people I can relate to; it’s a relieve! My live crumbled around two years ago, losing friends, a significant relationship, family commection and, lastly, my mom who died few months ago. It’s all about destruction and it sucks. The surprising part is that this spiritual journey, that started over twenty years ago (ah, Yes ;-)) has been fun and fine for a long time: amazing metaphysical experiences, pure happiness, joy and freedom. And then ‘bang’, it all crashed and no one, absolutely none to relate to in my everyday life. So, dear ones out there, thank you for being here, wherever you are. Big hug!
Big hugs back Alessandra, and welcome – you are not alone 🙂
Thanks Kelly. This is so true. Since some years I am in the midst of all this. But I am alone since 1996. It has been and is an arduous process. I have still lots of pains, but I trust more than before that this is part of the game.
The most important thing is to allow the process. I notice all these unhealthy dependent relationships around me and sometimes it is still hard to see a couple kissing each other or whatever, but I know that this path has chosen me. The one thing that helps me mostly is DO NOTHING meditation as explained here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4yipKfO8nA.
Love,
Fred Delameilleure
BELGIUM
Thank you for writing this. I’m going through a lonely time in my life and I don’t like it at all. For some reason I looked it up on line. I read your page and you have made some very awesome points.